This is probably one of the most honest posts i’ve ever written. I’ve never addressed this, as it has always been private, but now I want to address it, and i’m doing it in a big way. So before I write my heart out, let me give you a little back story first.
I never considered myself very pretty, from a little girl to a teenager. I’ve always had lots of friends and the occasional boyfriend so it’s weird that I never felt good in the skin i was in. Growing up I wished I could stick to a diet but as it often went, I was motivated on Monday morning but I forgot about that diet the same night.
I guess I never really knew how to eat correctly, I didn’t know what was good for me and what wasn’t. So it was frustrating for me when I didn’t lose the weight I wanted to lose. I still remember looking at my thighs and just wishing I could take a knife and cut off the excess fat and skin, just to be like the skinny girls. I remember hearing stories about girls with anorexia or bulimia and wishing I could be like those girls because at least they were skinny. I would have given everything to suffer from that disease just so I could be thin. Which I know now sounds crazy.
So I grew up being the chubby girl, but because I had a protective older brother and because I had quite a large group of friends, nobody really commented on my body. I can count the nasty comments on my ten fingers, but man I can still hear them so loud and clear. A stupid comment made by a stupid boy, ten years ago still affects me today.
A little over a year ago I decided to do things differently, to eat differently, because ever since I was little I suffered from hypoglycemia – also known as “low blood sugar, when blood sugar decreases to below normal levels. Which may result in a variety of symptoms including clumsiness, trouble talking, confusion, loss of consciousness, seizures, or death. A feeling of hunger, sweating, shakiness, and weakness may also be present”. – (Hey, thanks for that definition Wikipedia) so I’ve had this for as long as I could remember. And I never knew why that happened, I just knew, that once i started shaking, I had to eat or drink something sugary and 10 minutes later I’d stop shaking. Which is not reassuring by the way.
So all that, to come to exactly one year ago, me deciding to stop eating carbs. Or at least trying to eat as little carbs as possible. Which meant no more bread, no more late night pizza, no more huge plates of pasta, fries where a no-go and rice was only okay in sushi. This might sound sad, but the most amazing thing happened. Overnight I stopped having hypoglycemia. And on top of that I lost weight, lots of it!
In one year I lost 12 kilograms, it’s been a struggle and I have to admit, I had pizza twice – in a year, which isn’t bad – but managed to stay away from pasta and all that other stuff. I still eat quiche and wraps so I didn’t really cut all carbs of my life but it’s definitely a low carb diet.
Also, I hate the term ‘diet’. I’m not on a diet, I completely changed the way I eat and live. I also never took the ‘before – after’ shot, but I did ask the most talented photographer I know to snap a couple of pictures of me to show that even if my body isn’t perfect to lots of you, it’s perfect to me. And even if i’m not “there yet”, i’m absolutely loving the skin I’m in, and I’m happy to share that with you.
I did all that by myself, I did that. Which feels amazing to say. I got up in the morning and decided I was going to live a better life, a healthier life. And the past couple of months I’ve been trying to work out daily as well. If you follow me on snapchat you’ll know. Sometimes I wonder if people get sick of seeing my workout snaps, but then I get a text asking how exactly I changed so much. The answer is simple. I cut carbs off as much as possible and I work out almost every day. And not a big workout either. I don’t even go to the gym. Add me on snapchat to see how I do what I do.
There are a couple of people I want to thank, first of all, the people that inspire me every day. The amazing boss lady who runs Chiqueboss on Instagram is the best inspiration on snapchat. And two YouTube channels, Shayloss and POPSUGAR Fitness, these are amazing channels to start working out with.
And then I want to thank you guys, the people who send me messages congratulating me, which – in theory – is weird ‘congrats on your body‘ but it really fills my heart with joy!
All of that brings us to today, where I can happily say I no longer wish to be like the anorexic girls and that the stupid comment made by that stupid boy is long forgotten. I have curves, and I love them.
Also, a huge thank you to Julie Burguet Photographie who made me feel so comfortable during the shoot.
If you have any questions, leave a comment or send me a message on my social media